Mary Fedak Obituary - Visitation & Funeral Information

Marika (née Tolnai) Fedák, was born in Budapest, Hungary, and died of natural causes, in Dundas, ON at the age of 90. The tragic death of her beloved father during WWII thwarted her ambitions for a university education, but Marika went on to study at secretarial college. While working at the Ministry Office, she met and married Miklos Fedák, the love of her life. Opera, ski and skating outings filled her youthful years with joy, until the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. Marika and Miklos decided to flee the strife and dangers of the revolution and late in 1956, under cover of darkness, they slipped over the border into Austria. From Vienna, with simply the clothes on their backs, a young child in their arms, and a small bag of mementos, they began a life in a new country. In February of 1957, following an adventurous trans-Atlantic Canadian rescue flight, and brief stay in Montréal, the family settled in Toronto. As new Canadian citizens, now ‘Mary and Nicholas’ they began to build a wonderful life together. Mary had a jump start, having learned to speak English at college in Hungary. She went on to enjoy a fine reputation working in HR, Payroll and Benefits, and financial administration at some of the major hospitals in the city, such as Toronto Western, Sunnybrook, and North York General, along with many great years at the OHA & Blue Cross. Nicholas enjoyed his own long career, rising to management through the ranks of public service with the CRA, Excise Tax division. Whether en plein air, or at her easel, Mary became a passionate part-time artist, painting landscapes in oil and watercolours based on their numerous European travels. Her impressionist-style paintings were featured in exhibits at Sunnybrook and Joseph Brant Hospitals, and at the downtown BIA of Oakville’s Fall events. Knitting, crocheting and beading works were also some of her many beautiful and numerous handicraft creations. She was an avid gardener with a capital “G” green thumb. From the early ‘60s, with Nicholas, on weekends and holidays, Mary enjoyed the freedom and closeness of nature at their beloved A-frame cabin near Minden, Ontario. Coincidentally, in Hungarian, “Minden” translates to, “the be all … and end all … of everything.” European and Caribbean travels, social activities, camping and cottaging throughout Ontario, the Laurentians, and discovering Canada down east became a passion. Attending society events with good friends from their close Hungarian cultural circle, along with get-togethers with the many new friends made from fellow Canadians along life’s journey, rounded out their vibrant years. Active in the RC church communities of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Toronto, and St. Stephen Church, Hamilton, they thrived on the Canadian experience, yet reserved heartfelt allegiance to their Hungarian ties. In retirement, Mary offered her time and good cheer for volunteer services with Sunnybrook’s Women’s Auxiliary and, following a move to Burlington in 2002, the May Court Club of Oakville. She embraced thrift shopping before it was ecologically cool. Recalling the kindness of the Salvation Army to new immigrants, she led the charge to give back to the community. Over the last two decades, she joined many art activities offered at the Burlington Senior’s Centre, and wanted us to send a special thanks to her teacher, Annamaria Pulley and her many friends made there. Mary was a truly wonderful ‘Nagymama’ to her darling grandchildren Niki and Alex, plying them with Hungarian sausages, noodles and sour cream, pogácsa delicacies … and krémes, of course! She was so proud of the educational and artistic accomplishments of both her grandchildren. Niki, who graduated Concordia University became so very talented an artist, business woman and loving mother, eclipsing her grandmother’s accomplishments. Alex, graduating OCAD University, was also a source of great pride, as she witnessed him become a renowned cinematographer, film editor, director, photographer, music video creative genius, carpenter, builder and teacher. They had a truly special bond. Two tragedies befell her in recent years – Nicholas’ passing in 2005 was a monumental loss, as was the health-related loss of Mary’s driver’s licence in 2015. She seemed to take it better as time passed, yet she never did recover from either event. An avid reader and news watcher, Mary lived her life her way. She laughed freely, spoke her mind liberally and opined often. She was full of character, quick to make new friends, and cherish old ones, never missing the beauty of a sunset that she invariably wanted to paint. She loved playing the lotteries for modest sums, but her best win was to experience the fullness of the lottery of life. She lived to see man land on the moon and was overjoyed to live to see the landing of her great-grandchild, Mia, here on earth! Another fine co-incidence, is that Mia arrived June 18th, 2019 on my Father Nicholas’ birthday. Her senior years were a continuous struggle of multiple health challenges faced head on. As her world narrowed, and her gait slowed, she needed an increasing level of care. To all the wonderful staff at Wentworth Lodge LTC who attended to her very recent needs, both physical and spiritual, our sincere thanks. To the staff at Yorkville Retirement Residence, and the caring ladies at March of Dimes, Hamilton, who helped her stay in her condo for many years, and to Ariel and Catherine of the Dundas Community Centre, our heartfelt thanks. We extend a very special thanks to Fr. Scott Whitfield of St. Augustine, RC Parish, Dundas, who met with us in her last days, conducting a beautiful, caring and important rite of passage service, offering closure to Mary and to our family. Mary leaves her daughter, Marianna (David), grandchildren, Alex & Niki (Jordan) and great-granddaughter Mia; her sister, Gabriella Horváth & her family, Gyuri és Kriszta; sister-in-law Mimi Fedák & niece Judith Crawley, Sydney, Australia; Szász Eniko and other dear friends in Budapest; János Fedák & family, Halifax, NS; Vass, Samoila - Magyar families in Ottawa, and her best, life-long friend, Stefanie Goddard, of Lakeshore, Ontario. To the wonderful, beautiful souls, Marie Smith; the Medgyessy ladies – Cristina & Agnes and their families; the Tatrallyay clan, friends from Hungary – who hosted those epic pool parties; cherished Valerie Szathmari of Fair Oaks, CA; friends Joseph Neu, Richard and Biz Denton of Sudbury, George Rethy and family… Maya DeMaria … the Mulqueens and McGeoughs who cared…and last, but not least, Agost Vaday, my flight companion always. Thank you to her Burlington friends, Alan & Maureen, Ms. Lis, and Henne who came for visits and her work-life friends, Yvonne, Annette and Pat. To these and many other true friends who came to look in on Mary at her various ports of call, and those who went before to prepare her place – you called, you wrote, you continued to look in on her, in kind deeds and warm thoughts – our heartfelt thanks. Cremation has taken place. A private family service be held at a later date. Thank you to Karin Schuett at Circle of Life, Dundas, for her kindness and caring in making final arrangements for Mary and family. The following poem was written by my Father, Nicholas’ favourite Hungarian poet, Petöfi Sándor and to those who love the richness of the language, please enjoy this dedication to mothers everywhere… and to mine who is now forever in my heart, till we meet again. FÜSTBEMENT TERV Egész uton – hazafelé – Azon gondolkodám: Miként fogom szólítani Rég nem látott anyám? Mit mondok majd először is Kedvest, szépet neki? Midőn, mely bölcsőm ringatá, A kart terjeszti ki. S jutott eszembe számtalan Szebbnél-szebb gondolat, Mig állni látszék az idő, Bár a szekér szaladt. S a kis szobába toppanék... Röpűlt felém anyám... S én csüggtem ajkán... szótlanúl... Mint a gyümölcs a fán. (Dunavecse, Magyarorszag, 1844. április.) MY PLANS GO UP IN SMOKE… All the way home - I was thinking upon it … How should I… how will I address her? Mother I had not seen, since so long ago… What will I say first? Words so kind and so nice to hear? Even as she my cradle rocked, and held her arms to protect me… Yet she did unleash me… To my life … unfolding, reckless and unbound… Suddenly, I called to mind countless thoughts… Each one more beautiful, and fonder than the next… As time reversed, yet at once, seemed to stand still, My coach, it ran… it raced…. To home… And into the little room I knocked and stumbled ... As Mother flew towards me ... In a moment, I was upon her neck ... silently ... Clinging like ripe fruit on a branch… on the tree of life. Penned at Dunavets, Hungary ~ April, 1844 And another… A Soul's Soliloquy by Wenonah Stevens Abbott Today the journey is ended, I have worked out the mandates of fate; Naked, alone, undefended, I knock at the Uttermost Gate. Behind is life and its longing, Its trial, its trouble, its sorrow; Beyond is the Infinite Morning Of a day without a tomorrow. Go back to dust and decay, Body, grown weary and old; You are worthless to me from today — No longer my soul can you hold. I lay you down gladly forever For a life that is better than this; I go where partings ne'er sever You into oblivion's abyss. Lo, the gate swings wide at my knocking, Across endless reaches I see Lost friends with laughter come flocking To give a glad welcome to me. Farewell, the maze has been threaded, This is the ending of strife; Say not that death should be dreaded — 'Tis but the beginning of life.

Tributes

Mary Fedak

September 11, 1929 - February 19, 2020